weekend sixteen: freezing wind and neoprene

Yes, it clearly seems that we're insane. Who would wear clothing like that on such a blustery winter day? Probably the same type of misguided individual that would take on a full-length feature film with over thirty featured characters, several different external and internal locations scattered about the Memphis and Shelby county area, continue to work a full time job (that occasionally asks for severe changes in schedule with little notice before such changes in cahoots with long overtime hours and exposure to the elements), and attempt to tackle this Indie Film project with no budget what-so-ever. I'm actually surprised that I still have friends after spanning the film schedule from summer to the blistering beginnings of winter. We've gone from hot to cold within the flash of a kicked over light stand... And now we're paying the price with fingers that refuse to bend, clothing that is inefficient in blocking the full-bodied brunt of winter, and winds that rip off of the Mississippi river like the rancid blows of Death. It's f-ing cold outside... and we're trying to finish up the last "large" scenes we have left to put on tape.
You see, when we started filming this project I wanted to get the easy stuff in the can first. It made perfect sense at the time. We had taken quite a bit of time off from our last Rusted Sun Films project and I felt that we were a bit... um... rusty to take a full bite into some of the scenes that would require a great deal of time and preparation. So those bigger scenes kept getting pushed deeper into the unknown future, marinating in a slop of hopes and dreams that these obstacles would become easier as the project moved further along the stages of completion. Yeah... I had completely forgotten about Winter, apparently. I don't mind cool weather. Cool weather actually makes exterior shots comfortable... even pleasant at times. Cool weather is an enjoyable slow breeze that pours over you like a breath of fresh air at a pool-side bar. Cold weather, on the other hand is a bit of a problem for "no budget" film crews. You can't wear Winter clothing if most of the film takes place in the Summer. The storm fronts that bring in Jack Frost for a seasonal visit also bring wind, rain, and blistering cold that makes logistic troubleshooting damn near impossible. It gets so cold that I simply cannot think. I freeze. People stare at me expecting to hear some great way to solve a logistic problem and I slip into some form of dimentia, thus becoming completely useless. Cold weather is apparently my kryptonite. Because we have to "act" like it's Summer, we have to strip down the clothing (no jackets-- with an exception of our 'crazy homeless guy', Brady Bell -- it was really funny watching him chase pigeons around the downtown mall), we have to pretend that our collective testicles are not ascending to our respective abdomens, avoid capturing the "steam" that pours out of our mouths when we talk (learned a nice little trick on how to avoid that by the way), and somehow get all of the wonderful audio and video that we've got scripted out, before the sun decides to crawl behind a downtown building and place our nicely lit shot into the enveloping shade. Saturday's shoot was a little difficult. However, our cast and crew muscled through the weather and the complex positioning of the scenes. Saturday could have been a little easier on the constitution. By mid afternoon I had to change into my "cute in a retarded kind of way" outfit ala Hunter S. Thompson, do a little more camera set up and acting, breakdown and change locations to Cafe' Francisco, take a fall after being hit in the head by a cane, change wardrobe again, fight some more downtown wind, make sure everyone was fed-warm-and-happy, and manage to stay awake on top of it all. By the end of Saturday I was beat... physically and mentally. I caught a nap, took Christine out for dinner (I have to find ways to keep her happy), caught a showing of Syriana, and passed out. I have to thank Anthony, Christine, Joe, Ralph, Anita, Arnold, Dayna, Jen, Brady, Bob, The Shelby Co. Police Dept (yes, they guard the county buildings downtown), and Julie Ray. Without you guys and gals I couldn't get any of this done and this certainly wouldn't be as funny or as great of a film. Sunday was another day... but at least we would be filming inside... sort of.
Sunday brought the crew back out to Bartlett, TN. We decided that there was no way in hell that we could take another day in the raw elements. Sure Sunday would be warmer but not that much warmer. Five degrees of warmth doesn't mean shit when it's 40 and windy. So, we opted to push back the shoot two hours (I really needed rest), and shoot the scenes that take place in the garage. It's a little easier... no wind, a bit warmer, there is power, a bathroom, food and drinks, and a place to rest your bones. That was a dream compared to the previous day. We had a little help from Lisa Kiesel and finished up the shoots before it ran too late into the evening. I probably smoked too many cigarettes... hence the throbbing headache. Everyone had fun and really made it come together. We've only got a few more scenes to shoot before we're able to wrap this thing up... well, and dye my hair. It promises to be interesting.
On another note, I got to see some great friends Friday night at Jamey Tucker's Christmas/going-away party. Jamey is a very good friend and I'm glad that he's going to do so well for himself. Keep writing your script Jamey. It was good to see Joe Larkins and his lovely wife as well. I always have fun with you guys. Believe me... when I write that script about television news, you'll have a role. Back to the grind...

HERE ARE YOUR THREADS FOR THE WEEK:

JOE: Geez, anyone have a popsicle?
RALPH: Actually yes, I do.
--referring to a cold pee-pee.

RALPH: It's pink hours.
--apparently phone companies charge by the color.

RALPH: These chips are really f-ing hot.
JOE: You can use the pigeon shit as dip.
--because it's good

BEVAN: I think I actually lost a testicle. Yeah, it froze off and died.
--grapes anyone?

-B